Warning

WARNING

This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...
THIS IS NOT THE BLOG YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

What I'm Reading Wednesday- "Whorticulture" by Marie-Anne Muncio

So I just have one review this week. I finished "Whorticulture" as I was pushing through the pain of the loss of my dog. And I finished the review this morning; not quite up to what I'd like, but at least I was able to give her the 5 star review I wanted to give. Read my review here on Goodreads.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Getting Ready for Anal Fun- guest post by Lillian Christiansen

Getting Ready for Anal Fun

By: Lillian Christiansen

www.lillianchristiansen.com

If you are a purveyor of professional porn you might have noticed that whenever there is a scene that involves anal sex it is always clean.  In amateur porn and in our own bedrooms sometimes anal sex is a little messy, but it doesn’t have to be.

One of the tricks that porn stars have used for years is the enema. Most use disposable enemas found in the grocery store. The problem with these enemas as well as most preparations for reusable anal enema/douching devices is that they are meant to alleviate constipation; this can mean hours of cramping and not feeling fabulous before you are ready to perform.

There is always the possibility of spontaneous anal sex, which means at times there might be a little mess. When you are planning ahead I have found the ‘Fleet Naturals Cleansing Enema with Aloe™’ is a great choice. It is safe to use everyday and is meant for cleansing and freshening. As always you need to read the directions provided with the product, but I have found this to work perfectly when I know my partner and I will be enjoying some anal play.

Usually I will start my getting ready for anal play before a bath; administering the enema and allowing it to work. Then I take a nice long bath to give my body enough time to relax and to make sure any lingering cleansing fluid has time to work and exit.

Once I am clean and relaxed it is time to get down and play. I keep a high quality lube on hand (Liquid Silk™ is a personal favorite) and my preference is to use lots of lube. For those who practice anal play frequently you might find that you don’t need much lubricant or you can use your or your partners own natural juices instead.  If you are new to anal play or it is more of an occasional treat on your sexual menu, then more lube is better.

There are several “desensitizing” lubricants on the market designed specifically for anal sex, but I find a good lubricant works better. The nerves in the anal passage allow stimulation to feel good when done right; desensitizing these nerves does not improve the experience.  Should you find there is pain or discomfort often it is because of a bad angle, not enough arousal or a lack of lubrication.

Do keep a towel handy, even with the most thorough cleaning and preparation you may still run into a little dark matter. When filming or taking pictures you might want to use a dark sheets since white sheets aren’t ideal for anal play and pictures.


Joelle here- yup, I didn't abandon, but I'm still a little shaky. I did want to add a few comments though. I was glad to see 2 specific things that Lillian mentioned- that for people who engage in anal play recently, less lubricant might be needed- if you notice, I rarely mention lubricant in Vala's Story in part because of that- and also mentioning "desensitizing" lubricants meant for anal play. I share the opinion with several other sex educators that I've discussed this with that the idea of numbing those nerve endings is a bad idea because anal sex doesn't have to hurt and if it does, something needs to change.

I used to use the disposable enema kits but I've since bought myself a cheap set off a website, something like Walgreens, but I forget which now. You can buy more expensive (and probably better) ones off many sex toy websites, but I haven't begged my Master yet for such a purchase. I'm thinking that I want to because sometimes I get a bit of cramping from air getting into the tube because it's cheap.

Lillian gives you a good guide here for starting in anal experimentation  Remember that the characters in my story are all quite a bit past those days of experimentation, or at least have someone experienced teaching them, as The Queen enjoying anal play with Chitra, just a young college student when he collared her.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Anna Kristell visits: "The Road to His Soul"


Joelle, thanks so much for inviting me to be a guest on your blog today! As you know, I have a new release and I’m so excited to tell you and your readers about it. The Road To His Soul is the third book in my Fab Five series from LazyDay Publishing. Crossroad To Love was the first and The Road To Her Heart was the second. There are several more planned in this continuing dramatic romance series. The series begins with four forty-something women, lifelong friends, who are getting together for a week in Dallas. Each of the women is at some sort of crossroad in her life and during that week, with the support of the friendship, three of them are able to choose the fork in the road they’ll take. For one, it won’t be that simple. Along the way, a fifth friend is added to the circle, and none of their lives will ever be the same. Each book begins where the last left off, and in the second book, although the original characters play a part in it, the main focus is on the daughter of one of the women. Book #3, The Road To His Soul, focuses on the son of one of the ladies. My first book was a sweet romance, but as I have slowly begun to get my feet under me as a writer and have begun to feel more at ease with it, I’ve begun to add a little spice. I don’t write erotica, however I’ve had erotica readers read my books and tell me they loved them. One reader says, “Vanilla will never be the same.”
Two and three flame sensual is probably the best way to describe them.

I also write stories that aren’t part of the series, and they are published with Rebel Ink Press.

Here’s a little blurb from The Road To His Soul:

Another ‘Fab Five’ drama and Lizzie’s family isn’t out of the woods yet. This time her son is causing the problems.

Colt Hart and Kendyl Durant have been dancing around a relationship for years. When Colt decides he is ready to give up his days as a player for a serious girlfriend, he finally makes his move, knowing that once he begins a relationship with his sister’s gorgeous blonde friend, there will be no turning back. Also deciding it’s time to think about his future career plans, he leaves his carefree job to accept his dad’s offer to join the family’s advertising agency.

But the night before his first date with Kendyl he arrives at Rex’s office to tell him of his career decision, only to find his dad being put into the back of an ambulance after suffering what appears to be a heart attack.

Blaming himself because his dad has been burning the candle at both ends, Colt believes that if he had accepted his dad’s offer sooner, the heart attack might not have happened. He asks Kendyl to be patient with him. He wants her, but the business has to come first right now. He has to make it up to his family and keep the business going while his dad recuperates. But how long will Kendyl wait?

When they finally get together, the two lovers immediately enter into a sensual relationship. But Colt is called to Texas on business time and time again, and temptations await him there. Kendyl begins to doubt that he will ever be able to commit to her completely, heart and soul. When she decides to give him a wake up call by calling it quits, she hopes to turn things around.

Will it backfire on her and end things for good, as Colt is pursued by other women? Or will he stop dragging his feet and put the ring on Kendyl’s finger?

And here’s an excerpt:

Colt took the stairs rather than the elevator, hoping to blow off some steam before he faced Kendyl. Finding a chair near the door, he watched for her as he thought about everything that had taken place that evening. He had been so happy as he drove to his dad’s office earlier. He had anticipated the joy on his parents’ faces when he told them his news. He had also looked forward to the romantic evening he had planned for Kendyl. Believing she might be the girl for him, Colt had carefully seen to each detail. Now he had to tell her the plans had changed, drastically, and he had no idea when he would be able to reschedule their date.
He looked up in time to see Kendyl rushing in the front door of the building. Rising from his chair, he went to greet her. On impulse, Colt pulled her into his arms hugging her tightly. She responded, speaking gently to him. “I’m so sorry, Colt. I’m here, for you and your family, whatever you need.”
“You’re so good in a crisis, baby. I remember how you took charge in the kitchen the day Caleb was killed. Thank you so much for being here for us.”
“I’d do anything for your family, you know that.” Looking up at him, she smiled. “I’d do anything for you.”
Colt smiled down at her gratefully, gazing into her deep blue eyes.
“Colt, I’ll understand if you want to postpone our date tomorrow night. You all have a lot to deal with right now.”
Looking at her pretty, angelic face, he replied, “I think that’s what we’re going to have to do. I’ll take a rain check, though. Problem is, I just don’t know how soon. I’m going to have my hands full, taking a crash course in advertising for the next few months.”
Kendyl laughed and when she did, her blue eyes sparkled. “I’ve waited for you to ask me out for a long time, Colt Hart. I think I can wait a little longer.”
“Let’s go outside.” He took her hand and led her to a secluded corner outside the building. Leaning down, he kissed her gently. As his hazel eyes met her shining blue ones, he saw something he had never noticed before. He kissed her again, more deeply.
The beautiful blonde girl in his arms responded, melting against him. When he released her, she looked up at him, unable to speak. Kendyl had longed for Colt’s kiss for a very long time. But the feelings it awakened in her were like nothing she could ever have imagined. Finally, she found her voice and shakily said, “We’d better get upstairs.”
“Yes, you’re right.” He took her hand. Together they walked silently to the elevator. When they stepped out and walked to the surgery waiting area, the doctor was speaking to Lizzie. Cara and Nick listened intently.
“You’ll be able to see Rex in about thirty minutes or so. I’ll want to keep him overnight, but barring any complications, you can take him home tomorrow. We’ll discuss restrictions in the morning when I see him.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Lizzie said, as Nick stood up and shook the doctor’s hand.
“He’s going to be okay then?” Colt asked.
“As I was telling the others, he’ll need to rest for a few weeks. He also needs to change his diet and lifestyle a bit, but he’ll be all right as long as he follows my orders.”
Colt breathed a sigh of relief, extending his right hand to the man. “Thank you, Doctor.”
“You’re quite welcome, son. If no one has any more questions, I’ll leave you now.”
“We’ll see you in the morning,” Lizzie said, reassured by his kind words.
Colt hugged Kendyl before turning to his mother and his sister. “Thank God, he’s okay.”
Kendyl sat next to Cara and said, “I’m so glad Rex is going to be okay. He’s like a second dad to me.”
“I know he is. Thank you for being here with us.” Cara reached over and took her friend’s hand.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, especially now.” Kendyl’s gaze rested on Colt.
Colt glanced at Kendyl with a tender look that brought a smile to his twin sister’s face.
They were allowed to see Rex shortly after that. Reassured he was on the road to recovery, they told him goodnight as the young people prepared to go home for the evening. Lizzie insisted on staying with him, though.
Cara offered to go to the house and pack a small bag for her mother. “We’ll bring back some things for you if you insist on staying here all night.”
“Yes, it’s no problem.” Nick agreed with his wife.
“We’ll be back in the morning, Mom.” Colt gave his mother a peck on the cheek and touched his dad’s hand.
“Goodnight sweetheart,” Lizzie replied. To Kendyl, she added, “Thank you for stopping by.”
“I’ll walk you to your car,” Colt said, taking Kendyl’s hand once more.
When they reached her blue Camry, he opened the door for her. “Thanks for understanding about tomorrow. I just have so much to deal with.”
“I know. We’ll talk soon.”
Colt leaned down and kissed her again, before making sure she was safely in her car. He closed the door, waving as she drove away. His relationship with Kendyl was going to have to be put on hold. It was the price he had to pay for being so selfish, but it wasn’t fair for her to pay the price as well. As he got into his car and drove to his apartment, Colt resigned himself to the fact that the few kisses he’d shared with Kendyl that night might very well be the last kisses they would share for some time to come.


All of the Fab Five books and my other books are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and AllRomance.com

Here are the links for The Road To His Soul:




You can find out more about me and my books at:


Thanks again, Joelle, for letting me pimp my book on your site!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

What do you mean by "role" in BSDM?


Of course, I'm using you as a general plural pronoun here. Now if you're my friend or follower on Facebook ( I'm Joelle Casteel there too, although if you're male, you better have a good reason other than "Wanna see my cock?" to get me to friend you) or Twitter ( https://twitter.com/JoelleCasteel ),  you may very well have read my continuing thoughts, conversations around age play.

While I was already thinking about writing about it elsewhere, the big push started when I invited Breanna Hayse (author of "The Game Plan" and a number of other age play and spanking books) to guest on my blog. I was glad she touched on how limited "Daddy/little girl is" and that "Big/little" is really better to say since it includes different genders and roles. I  had some thoughts of my own that I wanted to share after her article. I read a variety of websites, even seemed to find myself among some. However, there was one specific line on the blog I linked that Breanna responded to- here's the post on her blog, 

Now specifically... this blog "A Little Understanding" upset Bre and I want to copy/past her explanation of why:

Bre's writing:

"OK so Joelle referenced, as I said another blog with some slightly different perspectives. Thats ok. I mean, everyone feels or lives this lifestyle with their own twists. But Bre was upset by this passage:
Sex in a Daddy/little relationship is not done like that of role players where the sexual attraction stems from deep seeded interest in incest or pedophilia. Sex between a Daddy and his little is just like sex between any people in a relationship.
It is SO wrong with absolutely no psychological or substantial basis whatsoever. In fact, this statement would put millions of good people.. Parents, teachers, doctors, lawyers, etc. on the sex offenders list. I know several people in the lifestyle who prosecute sex offenders and go above and beyond their means to protect children. To a reasonable and prudent person, the terms little, AB and AP are synonymous, and I challenge anyone to prove differently.  In essence, she accused those who don’t engage in the lifestyle full time to be perverts."
With all this thought though, I also thought of this: So I forget where it was I said this, but I ended a blog with words to the effect: "If the Man I submitted to is happy, what do the labels really matter?"
But I'm still thinking, talking about age play, Daddy/little girl this morning.

I think somewhere between the quote from that other blog and Bre's comment, I get lost in the importance of this word: role. I giggled at urbandictionary.com's definition, well the first one: "What position an actor fills in the hierarchy of top/bottom during sexual intercourse." For more, follow this link. However, the more standard Merriam-Webster.com definition reads: "(1) : a character assigned or assumed <had to take on the role of both father and mother> (2) : a socially expected behavior pattern usually determined by an individual's status in a particular society."
The way that I experience the behaviors, attitudes labeled as little or middle behavior as well as I experience my D/s slavery don't seem to fit either of these (the serious Merriam-Webster definitions, not the silly urbandictionary). As my Master said to a crappy ex-girlfriend of His, "Joelle doesn't just play at 'slave' in the bedroom." By that, He meant that I'm always a slave (although only His) and that I take care of His whole house, every need I can, that He wants me to. I've long blanched at "it's a role" comments; for me, it's a question of identity, not just what I do in bed.
All right. I thought this post was done, but then I shared a preview of it with a friend and we got talking and I had these further comments come to me :D
yes, I can be entirely juvenile, acting like a teen in a store. when I'm really stressed, if I don't have any jelly bellies to sort to calm myself, I’ll do things like color in a coloring book. but for all those behaviors, even if I’m cutesy and bratty at Shaman, the moment we're engaging in the physical there is no doubt I'm a woman but I don't actively make these "role changes" in the moment. I'm just being me.



Monday, May 20, 2013

Romancing the Doms


I invited Cari Silverwood to blog about the newly released "The Dom with the Perfect Brats," which she co-wrote with Sorcha Black and Leia Shaw. As a reader of the series, I was specifically interested in how they handle the doms in their series. I've reviewed the book- here it is on Goodreads. They have it available in a variety of formats, so use Goodreads' buying links.


There’s seems a sharp dichotomy, a contrast, between fantasy Doms in stories and ones who are a little closer to reality.

For a fantasy Dom supply…

Stern and menacing. Check.

All powerful, all-seeing. Check.

Super rich. Check
.
Willing to help the heroine out of whatever sticky situation threatens her. Check.

The world revolves around him. Check.

Once under his wing, the sub no longer needs to worry because from then on she only has to fulfill his needs. Check.

In the real world, men who are Doms are just that, men. They have vulnerabilities, money worries, family concerns, failings as a Dom , and they aren’t always right. And sometimes they don’t get to push the sub as far as they might like to because it isn’t the submissive’s kink. Sometimes they really fuck up, a lot. Because they’re only human.

In the Badass Brats series, because we hope to touch reality, we like to show Doms who even have, gasp, a sense of humor. After all, a Dom with a poor sense of humor is never going to appreciate brats. Our first book had Jude who knows how to have fun and can even laugh at himself.

In The Dom with the Perfect Brats we decided to show a Dom who has an A grade stuff-up. Godfrey Cross has relationship problems, personality problems, and he struggles to compromise. Every relationship needs compromise. If anything, the one between Dom and sub requires a more delicate and fine-tuned compromise than a vanilla marriage. You have to know when to give and when to take in a D/s relationship or it’s going to crack and fall apart.

Dominance and submission is a dance between Two people, not a song conducted by One.
Cross’s main motto is ‘My way or the highway’, and oh boy, he finds out how wrong that is. Learning to compromise for those he loves is Cross’s biggest character challenge. Yes, this Dom falls from a great height before he gets to struggle to rise again and salvage the pieces. Yet not only does this struggle make for a great story, it also makes Cross human and real.

The bottom line is: Real Doms stuff up.

And the true test of character is not how we behave in the best of times, but how we behave in the worst of times.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Patricia Logan's Rokuro and Kaden visit my blog to talk about Shibari- and share some BDSM action.

Well I still need to write my review for Patricia Logan's "Kaden (Master's Boys)" book 3 in the series, but I'm hosting her with an interview between her main characters Rokuro and Kaden about shibari. I'll let her speak for herself...


First, I would like to thank Joelle for letting me come and speak with you today. Let me introduce myself. I am Rokuro Taguchi. I hail from the great state of Hawaii. I’m employed at DOMZ.com, an online BDSM sex club. I share my job with several other Doms though Zack Teak, the website owner, hired me for my special abilities. I relocated to the Los Angeles area to find a club where I could practice Kinbaku as a Nawashi (rope master), Japanese bondage and more narrowly, Shibari, the art of rope tying or binding. Today, I’ve invited my very own submissive, Kaden to join me. We’ve been together for a short time and have participated in several scenes, though I have several questions for him. I just thought, since Joelle asked me to visit, I should probably share his answers with all of you. My boy is new to BDSM.”

Kaden, thank you for sharing your answers with Joelle’s audience.”

You’re welcome, Master.”

First of all, I’d like to ask, have you had any experience with Shibari before you entered my playroom?”

No, Master, none at all. I never wanted to let anyone tie me down. See, I have this thing about being in control. When my control is taken away, I fight like a wild animal.”

*Rokuro laughs*

Yes, you do, boy. So what made you give me the honor of tying you up and depriving you of your freedom?”

*Kaden blushes and smiles a tiny smile*

I think you know that we had chemistry from the very outset, Master.”

Yes we certainly did.”

And the feel of the ropes sliding over my skin as you tied me, was a turn on.”

*Rokuro laughs*

Yes, judging by the way your cock hardened when I pulled the ropes out of the cabinet, you liked it very much. We hadn’t even started.”

Well, it was going to be very special. I knew that even before we started. I mean, I’d never felt anything like I felt when you walked me into the room and took off my robe.”

Why is that, Kaden?”

Well, first of all, there were things in the room that frightened me.”

What frightened you, Kaden?”

Well, that cross for one thing.”

It’s called a St. Andrew’s Cross, Kaden. But why did the cross frighten you?”

Well, I assumed that Doms used that cross to tie up their subs and I didn’t like the idea at all. I thought that BDSM was all about pain. I don’t like pain.”

*Rokuro laughs*

Okay, well, I didn’t think I would like pain as much as I actually, did.”

*Rokuro nods*

Go on, Kaden.”

Well, I had never seen some of the things that were in that playroom. There were floggers hanging on the wall and there was a glass case filled with masks and dildos and anal beads and plugs. I’d never used sex toys before stepping into that room with you and when you told me that you were going to tie me to the cross, I didn’t like the idea at all.”

But once I tied your body to the cross, you began to relax. Why was that?”

Because the feel of the ropes was nice.”

You said that before. How did they feel?”

They were tight but only tight enough to keep me still. I had no way to move. Maybe if you’d only wrapped me once, I could have moved but not after you circled my body four times. And the ropes themselves… I had expected them to be rough and scratchy.”

Some ropes are, the hemp and jute are more rough than what I use, which is linen. And anywhere from two to four wraps are traditional. When a sub is suspended off the ground, a technique called tsuri, I like to use four so that the rope doesn’t cut into the skin. It’s a simple law of physics.”

*Kaden smiles*

Well, it feels amazing as it slides over my skin. That’s all I know. Where did you learn how to do that anyway?”

My father learned it from his own father in Japan when he was a young man. From an early age, I watched him do the same and I learned. He worked with men and women.”

Well, it is pretty amazing. When you tied my arms to my body and further restrained me, I began to feel very turned on.”

You watched me in the mirror, didn’t you, Kaden?”

Yes, it was very sexy. The way that you placed the knots was absolutely beautiful. It was like an art form.”

In Japan they call it Kinbaku-bi which means literally, “the art of tight binding” so you are very right, Kaden. Part of the art of Shibari is the aesthetics of the placement of knots, for example if they are placed in a diamond pattern, it is called Turtle.”

And the knot that you placed over my perineum, was the most pleasurable of all.”

*Rokuro smiles*

It is my favorite. If done correctly, it puts an amazing amount of pressure directly on the prostate. I have done that to subs in the past that couldn’t hold off an orgasm for more than a few seconds once that knot was applied.”

I can understand that. I had a hard time myself and then to top it all off you tied it to the rope around my waist and every time I moved or squirmed, I felt like coming.”

That is exactly what I wanted you to feel. You did a very good job in my playroom, Kaden. Thank you for sharing your experiences with Joelle’s audience today.”

*Rokuro bows to his boy*

*Kaden bows back*

Thank you, Master.”

Kaden's blurb:

Kaden Markwell, spoiled rich kid, has always chosen the hard way to learn life’s lessons, though he doesn’t see it that way. Now that he’s been caught in an act that, should it get out, will embarrass his millionaire father and ruin his mother’s career, he’s taken things a step too far. Kaden has no choice but to finally do what his daddy says as he’s sent off to an old family friend to get his act together.

At DOMZ.com, Kaden is not the one calling the shots anymore, and his good looks and boyish charms are more likely to leave him gagged and hogtied than with his way. When Master R, a renowned Shibari rope master, steps in to show the rebellious Kaden a thing or two about control, will they find Kaden’s inner submissive or will the experience leave them both tied in knots?



excerpt from "Kaden (Master's Boys)":

Ahh! Oh, God, it hurts, Sir!” the sub said.

As I want it to,” Master R said. He touched the boy’s thigh with the wand and again the boy cried out.
God, Sir!”

You have your words, boy. Use them if you need to or I will continue.”

Yes, Sir. Please continue, Sir.”

Good boy,” the Dom praised, touching the weights and making them swing, pulling the boy’s scrotum down again. Zack knew how painful it was. One thing that he had learned early on in the BDSM scene, was that in order to be a responsible Dom, he would have to try out all the toys that he used on his subs. Only then, could he gauge how much it hurt to have a toy used on him. He hadn’t liked most of the Dom’s playthings but then, he was not into pain himself. Giving it was much more fun than getting it, as far as Zack was concerned but that’s what made him the perfect Dom. On the other side of the glass Kaden cried out as Master R applied the wand again and then again. His skin was pink where the wand had touched.

I’m going to untie some of these ropes boy. When I do, it’s going to hurt. I want you to breathe through it. You will be just fine but you must relax, focus your thoughts and you will get through it,” the Dom said.

Yes, Master,” Kaden panted. “I understand.” Zack watched as Master R reached down and removed the weights. He saw the sub visibly relax as the tension was taken away. Master Rob moved behind the cross and began to work the ropes and as he did so, Kaden lifted his head and stared out through the glass at Zack and Cassidy. His tiny nod told Zack that he’d registered their presence. Master R stepped back around and began unwinding the ropes. Red lines showed on the boy’s skin as the silken Shibari ropes fell away. Kaden began to pant and Zack knew that the blood was returning to the areas where it had been cut off.

God, Sir, it hurts!” he whimpered. Rob nodded.

Yes boy, breathe through it.” Zack watched as the boy took several deep breaths concentrating on his breathing. He could almost see the boy fall into his subspace as he made the transition out of his own body to deal with the pain. Master Rob ran his palm down Kaden’s abused abdominals, petting him over the red marks that crisscrossed his belly. Kaden’s cock was still hard as a rock as Master R began to remove the ropes tying it up against his belly so prettily.



Patricia comes from small town America where people still believe in true love. In a house filled with family, friends and pets, she sometimes laments the lack of time just to sit down and write, though surrounded by those she loves, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Patricia falls in love with the heroes she writes about each and every time she puts their lives down on paper. She loves sexy men and hates her villains more than the reader does. It helps to hate the bad guys. It makes the story so much richer. She realized a very long time ago that the world is filled with people who live diverse and amazing lifestyles and she tries to capture the beauty of such diversity in her writing.

Patricia has had a diverse career life. She’s been a jeweler, an AIDS hospice nurse and a “dreaded” mortgage broker. She hopes that the various walks of life she’s taken come out in her work. A busy mother of four and a “stage mom” for her youngest, she always seems to be in motion.

Come join Patricia Logan on her Face Book page or blog at http://naughtypassions.blogspot.com/ or write to her at patricialogan.author@yahoo.com. She’d love to hear from you and will respond to all emails 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

How BDSM, Unitarian Universalism, and Norse Paganism all fit into The Queen's life- his thoughts. Part two

If you haven't read part 1 yet, please read it here before continuing on with The Queen's thoughts. :)


The Queen continues with his thoughts from yesterday about how the seemingly disparate pieces of belief in his life (Unitarian Universalism, Norse Paganism, BDSM) work in his life. Yes, he was wordy- hasn't Vala joked about that sometime? :D- so I had to break it in two. Yes, this means I'm not sharing a piece of story (or maybe I can be talked into sharing something later in the day lol).

Yes, below the Leather & Grace UUs for BDSM Awareness combine the UU symbol of the flaming chalice and the Leather Pride flag, but I wanted to show handcuffs and a bra on my blog :D .
Leather & Grace UUs for BDSM awareness
symbol. Go here for its story
http://leatherandgrace.wordpress.com/our-logo/

The runes- one of the best known things from the Norse Pagan belief.


I want to tell you the 1st UU principle now: "We agree to promote and affirm the inherent worth and dignity of all people." First off, there is nothing in Norse Paganism that contradicts that principle. Not in my understanding of Norse Paganism, least-wise. On the surface of BDSM, and in practice for some, it would seem that Dominants and submissives are in an unequal power dynamic, the way I understand dominance and submissive it that it is matching pieces of a whole- Tommy is not a lesser person because he submits to me. UU as a religious movement is very concerned about justice and equality- it is even in our 2nd principle. However, like I said earlier, about false equalities. It is so easy for us to go through the intellectual motions theorizing how "equality" will look in real life. Too often this ignores the complexities of justice- each person brings multiple pieces of identity and in our culture, these pieces can limit and expand a person's possibilities in a myriad of ways that can limit their ability to gain justice. In this I think on the Norse God Tiwaz (Tyr, if you are using the more common Scandinavian name), who while war-like is also concerned with justice. For instance, the unfortunate fact is that Vala does not remember enough details to have any of her rapists prosecuted and opening the can of worms that would be pursing her father for her molestation would do her more harm than it would benefit her if I helped her to pursue legal justice for the times her ability to consent to sexual activity has been ignored or compromised. I have offered affection, BDSM, sex, love, spirituality to her; these things have helped her to heal emotionally, spiritually from those experiences. Of course, more than just her ability to remember, our legal justice system in the US is not constructed in such a way that a woman with a past containing details like hers can expect to gain justice against a rapist; her own history would most likely be used against her by the attackers' attorneys. What is justice can be hard to name though. I guess that is part of why I feel so drawn to Tiwaz and his stories. Of course, he is best known for placing his hand in Fenris wolf's mouth while the other gods were binding him in the chain Gleipnir, as a faith offering to Fenris. When the wolf sensed the trap, he took Tiwaz's hand. And finally, the many values important to Norse Paganism, (like honor, oath, commitment, courage) are well woven within the 7 principles. It is only the surface that they might look different.

I want to summarize my thoughts on war in this paragraph. This is one of those contentions that have long plagued UUs. As has been seen at general assemblies (the national denomination meeting), there is quite a divide between the hard-line pacifist camp and those who decry the lack of recognition of veterans, regardless of what war they fought in. I am somewhere in the middle. I do not think all wars are necessary and our leaders could stand to conduct warfare in much more honest fashions. I think often there are ways to avoid warfare that should be utilized; I was fascinated by Joelle's teaching that WWII might have been avoided if the European countries listened to Woodrow Wilson's "14 points plan" rather than passing the punitive Treaty of Versailles. But that is neither here nor there. Again looking to the example of Tiwaz, there are multiple ways of reaching justice and it is not always by utilizing weapons. I like to imagine if I had lived in pre-Christian Europe that I would have valued guarding my family, home, property over raiding, although I would have enjoyed raiding as times. Because defending the defenseless is important too. Many of my slaves have needed defense from someone, something. Tommy, from his dad; Abrecan, from himself and homelessness; Prisca, from her unwise decisions; Vala, from her parents and fundamentalist Christianity. In bringing them into my family, I acted the warrior protecting them from those who wished to hurt them. Of course there are situations with some of them where Norse Paganism, within those specific pre-Christian cultures, would have supported physical violence to protect my family; our legal system discourages that. Better or worse, that is debatable. But I can imagine, remember, if many IFs had been different, if only I had punched Tommy's dad and taken him out of that abuse when we were thirteen. We also have the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." The very fact of who I am, a cisgender male who loves people not just the opposite gender from my own, means that I could not openly, proudly serve the United States in the armed forces. I would not shirk that duty to serve, if it was not for that.

But then there is the question of serving (not just in a BDSM fashion, or not even, as the case here.) By bringing these nineteen people into my family, I care for them, protect them, make it so they are not a drain on the society by collecting Welfare or other governmental helps. To me, I am serving my Gods, serving my beliefs, the principles as Unitarian Universalist by protecting those precious beings whom I love, who are my family.



Monday, May 13, 2013

How BDSM, Unitarian Universalism, and Norse Paganism all fit into The Queen's life- his thoughts.

update: 10-17-2013- I realized trying to share this with a friend that it might be hard for people to get to part 2 if they're months later to read it, so here's the link to part 2, when you've finished this one http://joellecasteel.blogspot.com/2013/05/how-bdsm-unitarian-universalism-and_14.html
First I want to say: yes, I'm not good at separating my personal and professional lives. Maybe I took to heart the feminist "The personal is political" too seriously, even if much of second wave feminism's message has been lost on, or didn't include me. So yes, The Queen is a Unitarian Universalist (UU for short) as I am. It makes sense to me that part of his healing from the religious abuse he suffered would be engaging in spirituality as a UU. What follows is an often rambling, wandering set of thoughts from The Queen on how being a UU-Norse pagan as well as a lifestyle BDSM Dominant fit into his life.
Yes, below the Leather & Grace UUs for BDSM Awareness combine the UU symbol of the flaming chalice and the Leather Pride flag, but I wanted to show handcuffs and a bra on my blog :D .
The runes- one of the best known things from the Norse Pagan belief.

Leather & Grace UUs for BDSM awareness
symbol. Go here for its story
http://leatherandgrace.wordpress.com/our-logo/




The way I live my UU is with as much of the non-judgmental, open-mindedness as all UUs hope to live or at least should strive to live. I endeavor to avoid snap judgments, even when it comes to the treatment of my slaves, all of whom I know better than most people. Of course, it is more than just being a UU. I am also a Norse Pagan, even if more of the stories, the deity names I feel in touch with of a Germanic persuasion than the better known Scandinavian extraction. Beyond that, I am a lifestyle Dominant in BDSM.

On the surface, some people might struggle to understand how those three seemingly very different things co-exist within one person. We UUs tend to be very politically and socially liberal. It is common enough that those among our number will take political correctness further than I think it should be. As well, in the pursuit of the 2nd principle ("justice, equity, and compassion in all human relations"), it is easy to engage in lazy cognition that promotes a surface level equality- that is a problem for me as a lifestyle Dominant specifically. Yes, my relationships with my slaves do not look like what a feminist might say they should; however, they are completely consensual. Who is some uptight woman who has read too many feminist literature books to tell me... or one of my slaves... that we have made the wrong choices?

But we have gotten off on how BDSM and UU can go together- if you want to know more, I suggest you go to Leather & Grace UUs for BDSM Awareness and read more; Joelle is quite proud of her involvement with that organization and it is is good that it exists- BDSM practitioners deserve inclusion in UU life just as much as any other consensual, alternative (to mainstream) sexuality. That happened in part because I see where my Norse Paganism and BDSM go well together. Among Norse pagans, there are some very important values that serve well in BDSM as well: honor, oath, commitment, courage, just to name a few. There is also the fact that Norse paganism does not ask us to sustain a false equality. Sure, when you see movies about Vikings, more of the warriors are men. Men do tend to be more capable to engage in physical warfare, especially when high tech weapons are not involved. However, that does not mean there were never Viking women; women who were capable were entirely included. (As aside, I loved Erik's wife on History Channel's "Vikings." She was a wonderful and complete female character, as well as a warrior in her own right. And when she defended herself against the man trying to rape her. Not the rape of course, but her defense of herself was amazing to watch.)

Coming back to those values I mentioned (honor, oath, commitment, courage), I want to touch on how the war-like nature of Norse Paganism fits into my life. My 19 slaves, even Mandisa in her way, needed some level of rescue from issues in their lives that were negatively affecting them. My honor is enhanced when I take care of their needs, even if that need be "to serve my Master." While the collaring ceremony language talks mostly about what the slave being collared, what my other slaves will do, within that language, it talks about what I swear to do. If a slave breaks a rule, I have sworn an oath to punish for the rule-breaking. What sort of Master would I be if I allowed my slaves to break their "oaths" without repercussions? With my oath (although unspoken) comes what I commit to do: the train a human being as a BDSM slave. I commit to their care. It can take a lot of courage to do what must be done, especially when it is not fun or easy. And being a BDSM Master is not always easy or fun. I had to carry Vala through some horrendous experiences before she was well enough to make the decision of taking a new name, of begging for my collar.

Please watch for part two tomorrow.



Sunday, May 12, 2013

What does a "bear" want after a quick screw?

From my free ebook "Joelle's Chaotic Collection of Screwing" ( Smashwords, multiple formats available ), I decided to share approximately the first half of "Steak and Eggs." Now I joke with my Master that I'm "a bear trapped in a small woman's body." When I'm looking for visual porn, most often I'm looking for "bear" porn. I love the big men, the roughness and the gentleness that can be so wonderfully combined into activity between two large men who are covered with body hair and aren't ashamed of it. So I admit, this is a woman writing about two very masculine gay men having sex. I've tried to do my best, but I recommend if you enjoy it and want to go even farther, look for bear erotica written by gay men. Unfortunately I don't have any authors to recommend at the time.



"Steak and Eggs

Smoke filled the room, brushed against things. He walked out of the club, leaving the music and smoke behind him. He looked up into the night sky.

"Don't think I've seen you around before," the gruff voice sounded behind him.

He turned around to face the voice. The body matches the voice. Gods! "No, this is my first time." He licked his lips. "My name's Russell."

"Russell?" The man moved closer to Russell. He pushed an errant piece of hair back behind Russell's ear. "Don." His gaze slid up and down the package. "Curious?"

"Yeah." Russell glanced up at Don's face before lowering it to his chest. How'd I luck into one taller than me?

"Read anything? Looked at any websites?" Don's hand, which had slid down to Russell's shoulder, continued its slide down until it rested at the small of the back.

"Yeah. Enough to know I found where I belonged after I'd searched 'hairy men.'" Why can't I seem to think before speaking?

"You're hot." Don grinned. "I want to fuck you."

Russell groaned. "Yeah."

"What kind of car do you drive?"

"Um... why do you ask?" Russell took a deep breath. Not gonna bit my lip.

"So I know what kind of car to watch for following me." Don grasped Russell's ass.

Russell rose onto his toes, for a moment the same height as Don. His mouth opened in a small circle.

"Unless you'd rather us go to your place?"

Russell shook his head. "Your place works." He leaned against Don.

Don lowered his lips to brush a soft kiss to Russell's mouth.

"Drive a blue pick up," Russell muttered into Don's mouth.

Don laughed. "Good choice." He let go of Russell with one arm to point. "That chopper over there's mine."

Russell looked away from Don's face to glance in that direction. I wanna be his passenger some day.

"Pull your pick up over here and I'll get 'er started."

"Yeah." Russell fell back away from Don and hurried to his pick up.

---
Don unlocked the front door of his ranch house and pushed Russell inside before him. Both men inside the house, he shoved the door closed. His hands furiously working on their clothes, he muttered, "Anything gets more than you can handle, yell out cherry. Got it?"

Russell grunted. "Yeah. Cherry." His fingers took over on the bottom buttons of his shirt and he yanked it free of his torso. He moaned when Don's shirt joined his on the floor. The forest of chest hair was better than he had imagined.

Don yanked Russell against him. He shoved his tongue between the trembling lips. His hands moved to the back of Russell's head. One hand moved away to the waist of his jeans. Fingers popped the button, pulled the zipper down.

Russell anxiously grabbed Don's jeans and pushed them down.

With the jeans on the floor, Don stepped out of them. His hard cock stood out between the men. He grasped Russell's shoulders and pushed him to the carpet. "Suck it."

Russell rose back up enough so he was at face level with Don's glorious cock. Yes! No shaving here! He plunged his mouth onto the cock in one swift move, taking it until it brushed against the back of his throat. Can't wait to have this in my ass. He worshiped it, bathed it with his mouth.

Don placed one hand on Russell's head, the other on his shoulder. "You're good at that."

Russell groaned around Don's cock. He pushed his tongue against its underside, pulled back to suck on the head. He grasped the balls, fondling them. His other hand moved to the shaft. He started to jerk Don off with the head in his mouth.

"Let's move this to my bed." Don's hand in Russell's hair fisted and pulled him to his feet. "This way." He moved them down the hallway to the last room.

His mind barely registered the carpet change before his gaze moved over the huge bed that dominated the room. Russell couldn't hold his harsh moan in. Fuck! What a bed!

Don chuckled. "Come on. I have ideas." He pushed Russell to the bed, down onto it on his stomach. "Ever been tied up?"

"No," Russell said into the thick comforter.

"I'm gonna tie you up."

Russell moaned again.

Don grabbed the waist of Russell's jeans and pulled him up the bed by it. He pulled a heavy leather cuff down from near the head board. "What word I give you if you want to stop?"

"Cherry." Russell turned his head to the side. "But please don't stop."

Saturday, May 11, 2013

What is *racy*?

While this is still a pretty sexy image to many, it isn't as racy or scandalous today as it would have been for centuries of Western European existence, when women's fashions showed tremendous cleavage, but no ankle. How "racy" changes.



Often enough, blog posts start out from a need to vent for me. Facebook is a great source for this. Recently I posted a silly something.... lalalalalala I'm not safe for work lalallalala. Yes, I certainly have my moments that cause me to ponder more these notions of Daddy/little girl. The vent comes in from a friend posting- and I won't try to quote her or go find the post so I get her exact word because I'm all too active on FB- responding to this in what I summarize as "I wish you wouldn't post so many racy pictures that I have to explain to my kid when he accidentally looks while I'm scrolling." My first response to this is anger, irritation. If you know me, you know just how often that NSFW does explain me. Sure, I have plenty of interests, but I can easily go from talking about education philosophy to kinky sex... and even have a tangential explanation as to why the two subjects make sense together. Oh and wait, she used the phrase "racier photos"- that really got me. So what is "racier" in my world? In her world? I'm pretty sure the two have very little in common. You know what gets me, is over the top? Yes, I know I'm a chicken shit- a BDSM picture made me cringe today. It was a ribbon attached to a woman's leg with needles, play piercing. Now that was truly racy for me, got me to go more than "ooo, I like that" or some such. It really got my attention.

I took the moment to go to an online dictionary other than dictionary.com :D. From Merriam-Webster.com ®, the definition of racy is:

1. a. full of zest and vigor

b. having a strongly marked quality. piquant

c. risque, suggestive (racy jokes)

So first lets talk about the pictures I share on Facebook. The household joke is that I share "dogs, cats, and partially naked women." Now that's not exactly right. Yes, lots of dogs and cats, especially memes. Then there are the women wearing as little as FB will allow. There is usually a fetish quality to the picture, if not an all out BDSM aesthetic. More recently, I've come across a few pages that have male/male BDSM and/or "bear" pictures- yes, I don't tend to want to look at pictures of just random guys, although I'd love a naked picture of my Master. But bears, with their thick body hair, their large bodies. Plus I know I have people on my list who will enjoy such images. Okay so all that scantily claddedness, I also have memes, images from home education, political, and natural parenting pages. Amusing, huh? And so friends, followers who have my posts coming up in their feed really can't be sure what they'll see. It could just as much be a kitten playing with a bag as a woman wearing nothing but a collar kneeling in front of a fully dressed, suited man.

BTW- I promise to give you more SEX, BDSM tomorrow... I just gotta get my head right. Maybe my Master can throw me down on the bed after He's fixed the frame and fuck my head back into a sense of normalcy. :D

Friday, May 10, 2013

Body Worship- a little talk about the fetish then some sex



So I admit to writing the sex before researching and writing this part. I mean really :D. I wanted to write a BJ, especially since I got to enjoy giving my Master a long-ish one last night. I really do love His cock and love giving Him pleasure the ways I described here. When a friend suggested "body worship" when I said I needed a topic on a "specific kink," of course the first thought I had was foot fetish, something I don't actually have. We did have a conversation that ranged how any body part could been the fetish item. Once I'd written the sex, I went to Google and searched "body part fetish." This first link was at the top of the list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partialism . First line: "Partialism refers to a sexual interest with an exclusive focus on a specific part of the body. " I read the short article and then giggled when I saw my friend suggested "body worship" as one of the clickable topics at the bottom. Here's that link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_worship . Of course in body worship, the information shared is more of a BDSM-specific nature. And I found myself in the "subset" section of the article hehe. While I don't get the notion of oral sex as humiliating or degrading, I can see how that can be part of a scene for those who enjoy humiliation and specifically being kneeling as they give a BJ; shrugs, I prefer to be kneeling on the bed beside Master, somewhat comfortable so that I can focus on giving Him pleasure, rather than struggling with an uncomfortable position.







Master, please. I beg, please. I want to go down on you. I want to take your cock in my mouth. Please, Master.

Yeah? This cock. Your hand moves over Your semi-hard cock; I swallow down the saliva pooling in my mouth. Aren't you tired of this cock? It's all you've known for years now.

I could never be tired of Your cock, Master. I love Your cock. I love touching it, tasting it, feeling You pushing deeper into my mouth as I struggle to deepthroat You, Master.

All these words. You click Your tongue teasingly. How are you managing so many words when I'm not in your ass?

I giggle. I can't help myself. Because of Your cock, Master. I can because I'm thinking of all the pleasure You'll feel with Your cock in my Mouth.

You rest Your hands on the bed. So?

It's all the invitation I need. I jump to hands and knees at Your hip. With one hand, I hold Your cock. I open my mouth around it, drawing the head into my mouth. I suck, softly, then harder. I bring Your cock deeper into my mouth; I groan against You. As my head goes down, my ass goes into the air. I may be worshiping Your cock, Master, but not without thinking of how You enjoy looking at my ass.

Your first moans make their way to me as Your hand brushes my ass.

I keep pushing down, Master. I want Your whole cock in my mouth, no matter how I have to blink back the tears forming in my eyes, how I have to concentrate on relaxing my throat. My knees move, bringing my body alongside Yours. My ass is now beside Your chest. I'm grateful for how Your cock slides into my mouth in this position, Master. Down all the way, I wrap my arm around Your thigh and hold myself there.

You pinch my nose shut; I shudder.

How glad I am You helped me learn this about myself; I never tried breath play before. The shudders continue, build. Oh, Master, I want to beg to come.

Come for me.

I focus on Your cock pushing into my throat, the need to breathe becoming explosive. What were just shudders are now wild thrashing. Thank You, thank You, Master.

You let go of my nose.

I pull off Your cock and draw a deep breath into my burning lungs. Immediately I dive back down. This time though, Your legs are spread enough for me to just see Your perineum. I want to shove my tongue into Your asshole, Master. I wrap my right hand around Your cock, pumping steadily, as I struggle to reach You with my tongue. The top of my head presses into the bed and I groan and moan against Your skin. I can feel the hot, tight pleasure building between my legs as Your moans start coming again, Master. The pleasure You feel, my tongue in Your ass, my hand on Your cock, shivers through my body.

Suddenly Your fingers begin their work on me. One dives into my cunt. Now wet, it works into my ass. Another finger claims my cunt.

I whimper and groan against Your skin, Master, my tongue desperately pushing in. I feel the orgasm building in me again. I pull back just enough to take first one ball, then the other into my mouth. Moaning and screaming, I suck on Your balls. A second finger joins the one already stretching my asshole, readying it for Your cock. I dive back down onto Your cock, taking You in one swift stroke. I cough and gag, but I keep You deep in my mouth. Spasms rock my body as I push against Your hand; I love it when You penetrate all three of my holes as Your cock pushes into my throat, Master.

You grunt; I open my eyes to notice that Your sac has tightened. You're so close to coming.

The tears are dripping down my cheeks now; I'm too busy holding my body up to brush them away. I tense my right arm to hold me then I lift my left hand to cup Your balls. I love your cock, Master. I love to give You this pleasure, Master. I beg You to come deep in my throat, Master. I beg to cough, and fight against gagging, Your cum, spilling into me.

You grunt again.

Thank You, thank You, Master. It's all I can think as Your cum rushes into me, down my throat, Your cock filling me. How I love Your cock, Master. How I love giving You this pleasure. Thank You for Your fucking fingers inside me, Master. I pull off Your cock and press my face against Your thigh.

Your fingers thrust once more, Your thumb moving over my clit.

I groan against Your skin. Thank You, Master. Thank You for coming in my mouth, Master. Thank You for fucking me with Your fingers and making me come, Master. Please plug my ass so it's ready to take You when You're ready to fuck me again, Master.

You laugh. Sure.

I groan as the hard silicone penetrates my asshole; it'll never be as good as Your cock, Master.