This blog will contain...
...profanity, sexually explicit dialog andadult imagery.
If you are under 18 and/or offended by this...

Thanks fiona, from "Sir Q and Me" for the warning message that just makes me melt. :)

Friday, March 29, 2013

Figging, by Natasha Knight

Joelle asked me if I would write a post on Figging and so here I am, happily approaching a topic which is fairly new to me but intriguing all the same. I'm actually not even sure how we got to talking about figging anymore - I mean, how does it come up in conversation, right? Oh, I was also going to research the use of nettles in BDSM play but haven't had a chance yet so if any of you know about that, please share with me, will you?

First the disclaimer - I am not an expert, nor do I pretend to be, but I will happily share what I've learned. That said, I'll start with a little history. We'll get the boring bit out of the way fast J

This comes right out of Wikipedia (look up gingering) and you know that's always accurate. An 1811 dictionary states: "to feague a horse is to put ginger up a horse’s fundament, and formerly, as it is said, a live eel, to make him lively and carry his tail well. It is said, a forfeit is incurred by any horse-dealer’s servant, who shall show a horse without first feaguing him."[2] Ginger is an irritant, and when administered to a horse, the horse will carry its tail high and generally act somewhat restless and more lively. In the past, the purpose was often to make an older horse behave like one that was younger, or to temporarily liven up a sick or weakened animal.

But I’m not going to talk about horses here.

There was some discussion that in Victorian days, girls that were to be caned sometimes had a ginger root inserted into the anus to keep them from clenching their buttocks during punishment. The ginger root, when inserted, causes a stinging sensation that lasts about twenty minutes. When the buttocks are squeezed, it releases more of its juices, causing even greater discomfort and thus forcing the recipient of the cane strokes to relax her bottom and take her punishment. Not sure how true it is, but definitely an interesting visual.

I've experienced it once or twice myself but I have a fairly high pain tolerance and have to say I find it somewhat pleasurable. And it's not just the physical aspect for me: it's the psychological.

In "Taught to Kneel" (Kindle edition), as a part of Gabrielle's punishment, Julian has Gabrielle bend over and present her bottom to him. He then inserts the ginger root into her bottom - safely of course - carved so it won't disappear in there. That would kind of take the sexy right out of things. Anyhow, to present yourself in so vulnerable a position and have someone insert the root (or anything else for that matter) inside your bottom is humiliating. It gives someone power over you and for me, this is what's sexy about figging. I feel like I want to talk about this part of things, about why the idea of submitting like this to someone makes my belly feel all funny, and other things feel all warm, but I think that's another post.

So how do you prepare the ginger? Well, first go buy some at the local supermarket. The fresher the better and the more solid and bigger the piece the better. Keep it in the fridge until you're ready to use it. To prepare it, peel the root and carve it in the shape of a butt plug where the sphincter will lock around the tapered portion of the plug. Very important - truly. Rinse the ginger to get all the peel off and make sure the tip is nicely rounded. You can keep it in the fridge if you're not going to use it right away, but really, who's that organized?

Once you're ready to use it, have the recipient take the position (very nice all by itself for both parties). Don't use any lubricant as it will create a barrier so that the juices of the ginger won't be able to work their stingy magic. Insert carefully and watch for a few moments. When the wiggling begins, well, it's working. Have fun.

You can also use a small round of ginger (peeled again) at the clitoris or a similarly carved one inside the vagina, but for me, figging is something reserved for when a little humiliation is called for.

I'm pretty sure this isn't new to most of you, but if it is, I hope I've intrigued you to try it. I'd love to hear comments and thoughts on figging both regarding the physical sensations and the mental aspects of this practice. The BDSM Group over at Goodreads has an active discussion going on about this which is interesting to have a peek at. And like I said above, if you know anything about nettles, I'd love to learn myself.

And from Joelle- while I'm sure the pictures might be interesting, please no pictures of pretty female asses with ginger stuck up them- at not in the comments section :D. I'm not entirely sure if that's within the rules for blogspot lol.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Queen speaks of love and BDSM

Now in my continuing series about how love can look in BDSM, that indeed, even if it doesn't look like love to others, there is often love in BDSM, I've begged to The Queen to step up and give a male view on it.

I love you, all of you, every last bit of you.

At first glance with BDSM, it is all too easy to miss the loving care with which a Dominant will lavish on a devoted submissive. Especially when the care isn't what we have been taught to expect.

Let me ruminate on Mearr, then Vala once she decided on the new name she wanted, to mark her new life, to place herself firmly in my life and push away her tortured past. Oh, that sick little female I brought home from that coffeehouse. Even then, holding her in my arms, I could not help but look down on her and feel my heart expand. Yeah, I am a sucker for a person who needs me. I so enjoyed giving her that first both, watching her relax as it became slowly obvious to her that she could trust me not to violate her. My hands sliding over her wet skin as I helped her. Ah. I do not understand why more male dominants do not write erotica. Then as the days built into weeks into months as she got healthier, as I helped her move through the steps of her legal name change. Just to look up from my desk when I was busily at work and to see her smiling at me with a very similar, contented, doting love as Tommy. It almost startled me when I realized how deeply I had fallen in love with her. Then when she finally said those words to me. "I love you, my Queen" were the sweetest words to hear in her voice, although when she hesitantly pushed through just to say she thought she was falling in love with me.

Now despite what she'd seen in the loft of Simon, Tommy, and I interacting, the books I'd provided her, what she'd seen in life of BDSM, I knew it was going to be entirely different for Vala when she made the move from being in recovery at my loft to coming to my mansion, being collared, becoming my slave. Sure, I always saw what was in her- I was even half waiting for what happened between her and Raanan when I left them at home alone- but I knew she didn't. It took time, patience, and care on my part to help her find her strength. But how I love her strength. How I love seeing her pride in her body, both for her own sake and how it pleases Iona and I. Love at the loft, love at the mansion, love before and after collaring. Of course that first week after her collaring was so very difficult. While I knew how important the security and the learning of sleeping on a bondage board would be for her, I fought with myself if her nightmares would overwhelm her; I do not remember when my nightmares finally lessened, but I am pretty sure it took both Tommy and Simon's bodies pressed against me as we slept before that happened. I so enjoyed how she came to love the pain play, the subjugation, and how her eyes would glow with love in response. The catch of her breath when I would look into her eyes and tell her, "I love you, my baby girl."

So yes, the novels are "Vala's Story," but I want to talk about my other sweet slaves. I know many who are monogamists and cannot understand how polyamory works will look at all my slaves- just as people in intimate relationships, not even with the BDSM- and wonder how. Well I am here to say, yes I very much love all them. Certainly not in exactly the same way. Of course, there is sometimes an allowance for "time we have been together." I have not had as much time to build a loving relationship with Chitra (only three months mine when Vala's story starts) as Tommy (my gorgeous, lovable Tommy who I have known since that fateful day when we were thirteen, my slave for fifteen years now.) I think of Tommy's embrace, how it feels when our arms are wrapped around each other. Chitra's sweetness on the day her formal training period ended was so overwhelming. How great her love shown in her very being when I made love to her, enjoyed her body beneath mine. Of course love is not just about physical intimacy. I think on Simon especially in how he manages little and even big details. How he prepares every meal, decides what food will come into the mansion. The best though is his delight in pleasing me. I love watching the myriad of tiny changes to his posture when he prepares a new chocolate dessert and after I take the first taste, smiling with the simple pleasure of chocolate and how hard he worked to please me.

But, and this works in speaking of all my slaves, one thing I love above all is doing whatever each needs for aftercare, especially after a scene that triggered sub space. First it is beautiful to reach that point with each other, where everything is just so right. Whether it is tiny Iona I am talking about or my sturdy little cub Gaelan, I love that trusting, shaking submissive body against mine. Moments when eye contact is made and the totality of their love and submission is presented so innocently to me.

Yes, I love them all deeply. And I treasure their love. Whether that treasuring is shown with a new outfit, a meal, or a caning- after all, Tommy does love to be on the receiving end of those beautiful instruments of pain.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Domestic Discipline fan fic- btw, it made me hot :D!

I asked a friend to write a domestic discipline story. Oh and yeah, as if it goes without saying, it's NSFW. I mean, how much do I post on here that is safe for work lol ? Rather than write an intro for him, I'll let his profile on a fan fic site do it:

"Hello everyone, my name's Anthony, but I also go by Tony and A.J. Stony's my OTP, StarkSpangledBanner's my OT3, but I love many other pairings! I am fond of action figures, reading, dancing, and painting. I have a deep love and appreciation for hair, particularly beards and chest hair. And I can never get enough smut, I really can't."

for more, read here

to read other fan fiction stories of his, go here


When Tony looked up at the clock, he was shocked to see what time it was. He knew he’d been in his lab for a long time working on the Mark VII like Steve had asked, but he completely lost track of time. Normally Tony would’ve asked Jarvis to notify him when it was midnight, but he was so excited to finish the repairs and make Steve proud that he forgot.

Unless the Avengers were on a mission, Tony was supposed to be waiting in bed for Steve at midnight, freshly showered and dressed in his pink bra and panties with cream lace trim. It was one of their rules, and even though Tony had a difficult time adjusting to being submissive for the first few months of their relationship he now loved answering to Steve and doing as he was told. He loved making Steve, who he lovingly referred to as Daddy, happy, and he would do anything to please him.

Tony went against Daddy’s wishes by staying up past midnight, however, and he knew he was in trouble. He put down his soldering gun, walked over to the floor length mirror to his right and stared at himself, disgusted by his appearance. His hair was greasy and sticking up on all ends, his face and arms were smudged with oil and dirt, and his black wife beater and distressed jeans were stained with all shades and tints of grey and brown. Daddy wasn’t going to be happy to see him in such a deplorable state, and Tony hoped he had enough time to clean himself up and change clothes before Daddy walked into the bedroom.

He rushed out of his lab and into the elevator, pushing the level 20 button over and over again in hope that it would somehow make it move faster. It seemed slower than usual, however, and Tony took the opportunity to remove his dirty, sweat-sticky clothes as the elevator brought him to his destination. When the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Tony was already completely naked with his clothes piled in his arms. Tony knew that Daddy would be especially unhappy if Tony left his mess in the elevator, so it was better to take care of them now; the last thing he wanted was to disappoint the Head of Household even further.

Tony ran down the hallway to the left and into their bedroom door at the end of the hall, tossing his soiled clothing into the hamper sitting right next to the doorframe. When his dirty clothes were put away just as Daddy expected, Tony hurried into the bathroom on the left hand side of their bedroom and turned on the water in their shower. When the water warmed up, Tony walked in, slathered his body head to toe in body wash with a bath pouf, washing away the dirt, debris and sweat covering virtually every inch of his body.

Two minutes later he was out of the shower, and he swiftly dried off and carefully folded up the towel and put it on the rack next to the sink, just as Daddy told him to do whenever he finished bathing. He took a quick look at himself in the mirror, gave himself a smug grin for cleaning himself up before Daddy came into the bedroom and walked out of the bathroom. Tony’s belief that he’d gotten away with his bad behavior was incorrect, however; Daddy was sitting at the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of blue boxer briefs and holding a wooden paddle. He took his eyes off of the paddle and looked over at Tony, his naked body shivering in shame as he looked at his Daddy with his big, brown eyes.

“Baby boy, what time is it?” Daddy asked as he beckoned for Tony to come to him, waiting patiently as Tony hesitantly walked over to him and sat down on the bed to the left of him.

“It’s past midnight, Daddy… I’m sorry, I got caught up making repairs to the suit and I just never looked up at the time. I didn’t do it on purp-” Tony began to apologize, but Daddy brought his left index finger up to his sub’s lips to silence him.

“You know better than to make excuses, baby boy. You should be dressed and in bed right now, not just stepping out of the shower… It doesn’t matter that you were having fun working on your toy, that’s not a good reason to misbehave and I’m disappointed in you for thinking that you can get away with your mistake and hide it from me. You thought I wouldn’t find out that you were late to bed, and I can see that… Now tell me, what’s your punishment for not getting to bed on time?” Daddy questioned as he looked over at Tony, whose face was flush bright red in embarrassment.

“Tw-Twelve paddles…” Tony mumbled, unable to bring himself to look Daddy in the eyes.

“That’s right, baby boy. Now go get your pillow and get on Daddy’s lap. Now be a good boy and hurry,” Daddy said in a calm, even voice as he watched Tony crawl to the head of the bed, grab his favorite blue pillow and return to his previous position.

Tony put his blue pillow on Daddy’s lap, and then assumed his position on Daddy’s knee. He kept his arms out in front of him and gripped the corner of the bed with his sweaty, wet hands; the last time Tony didn’t keep his hands gripped to something he ended up covering his butt to defend himself from Daddy’s paddling, and neither of them wanted that to happen again. Before Daddy began, Tony turned his head to look at his partner, pleading with his eyes for forgiveness.

“Don’t give me that look, Tony… You made a mistake and we have to correct it. If you hadn’t have broken the rules then I wouldn’t have to spank you, baby boy. How else are you going to learn if I don’t teach you a lesson? Now, if you’re a good boy for Daddy and turn around then your punishment will be over before you know it,” Daddy spoke in a stern, yet kind, voice, and Tony nodded his head and looked face down at the black blankets on the bed.


Tony flinched when the cold wood hit his left ass cheek, and he let out a small yelp of pain. He wanted to put his hands on his bottom to keep Daddy from striking him again, but Tony knew better; if he did that then the punishment would be more severe, and that was the last thing he wanted. After the first strike, Tony felt Daddy’s left hand move to the small of his back and hold him tight, preventing him from moving.


The noise rang in Tony’s ears as the paddle hit his bare, flesh over and over again, turning his skin bright pink and sensitive. It burned, and each smack only worsened the pain. His Daddy could be a bit brutal with his spankings sometimes, but that’s the way Tony liked it; he wanted his punishments to hurt, and while he knew Daddy would never use his whole strength he did put much of his energy into the whacks.


At the ninth slap to his bottom Tony began to cry. The pain was getting to him, and he felt completely humiliated and ashamed of himself for breaking the rules. The only reason he went to his lab in the first place was to please Daddy, but he ended up upsetting him instead. With each smack he realized how wrong he was to disobey the rules, and Tony truly felt sorry.


When the spanking was finally over, Tony heard Daddy carefully put the paddle down onto the ground, thought he was unable to stop crying. Tony knew exactly why he deserved to be punished, and even though he felt like he was forgiven for his transgressions he still felt ashamed. As Tony continued to cry, Daddy carefully picked up his sub’s body and cradled him in his arms, holding him tight to his body.

“I’m proud of you baby boy… You took your punishment like a grown-up, and Daddy loves you so much,” Daddy purred in Tony’s ear as he held him close and rocked him back in forth in a slow, gentle motion.

“I’m sorry, Daddy… I don’t like disappointing you, and I should’ve paid more attention to the time. It won’t happen again, I promise… Are you still mad at me?” Tony sniffled as Steve wiped away his tears, earning a soft smile from his Daddy.

“No, of course I’m not mad at you anymore, baby boy. You accepted your spankings and you said you’re sorry. But if you do it again, I’m going to have to add time out in the corner to your punishment, understand?” Daddy answered in a soft, sweet voice, soothing Tony and calming him down.

“Yes I do, Daddy. I’ll do better next time, and I mean it. Cross my heart and hope to die if I’m lying to you right now,” Tony responded sincerely as he made the shape of a cross with his right index finger over his heart to further make his point.

“Okay, my little smart-ass… I love you baby boy,” Daddy assured Tony as he pressed a tender kiss to his sub’s lips.

Tony stopped crying, and he let out a loud, drawn out yawn. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally, and now that he’d been trained to go to bed at a reasonable hour Tony found it was difficult to stay awake much past twelve-thirty in the morning. Daddy carefully lifted himself up off of the bed with Tony still in his arms, and he walked over to the left hand side of the bed. He slowly lowered Tony onto the bed, and he covered him with blankets to keep him warm. After he tucked Tony in, Daddy gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and assumed his position on the other side of the bed. He wrapped his arms around Tony and the two fell asleep, both feeling reassured and content in the strength of their love.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Would you enjoy a little humiliation with your BDSM, part 2

Continuing from "Humiliation part 1," now I want to share 3 educational, philosophical articles I found searching "BDSM humiliation." Then I will finish with someone's short story that I found on literotica.com. Before sharing the article links and my thoughts, I want to say how much I had to look for articles or other's short stories about BDSM humiliation, rather than videos.

From Xeromag, © Franklin Veaux . http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdhumiliation.html

While I haven't read any more than this article yet, I was happily overwhelmed to see all articles available (both about BDSM and polyamory) on this website; it's now in my bookmarks and I'll be seeing about some more education for me. I absolutely adore this article! The author puts the subject out there so bluntly and talks about it quite thoughtfully. The article in mainly made up of questions one can imagine a person not into humiliation play asking and then Franklin's answers.

I want to bring your attention to one specific question that I think Franklin's answer most succinctly touches on The Queen's use of humiliation play with Vala: "Why on earth would you even WANT to degrade someone you love? Isn't that kind of sick? Who would get pleasure from being degraded or made to feel worthless? "


Starting to read this article, as always I had the surreal moment: "this is on Yahoo Answers?" It does make me very grateful for the Internet however; while the subculture of BDSM being more of a club at first, I think there's great value in it being open to a wider audience. Although it does make me anxious when books such as "50 Shades of Grey" give a wrong and often dangerous impression image of the activities we BDSM practitioners engage in. I was very happy to see the words "consenting adults" right in the article's title.

This article talks about humiliation and degradation play and how they differ. That was wonderful to see in print. I think both types of play can be valuable, although obviously only within a committed, long-term relationship. The Queen does use both with his slaves and for very specific effect with each slave he does it with.


First off, I have to say that I love this site! I'm pretty sure I've signed up on it, and need to make sure of that latter. While I don't agree with everything I've read on there, they are still a great source. I've liked them on Twitter and regularly re-tweet their posts onto my own wall.

While more personal than either of the above articles, these thoughts of another submissive gave me many a reason to smile. Specifically it was good to hear from a male submissive. A thoughtful piece and surely a welcome thing to ponder.


This is an interesting and well written short story. Definitely interesting, if the sort of humiliation play in it is arousing to you. For me, however, it was just a good piece of erotica that I'd still give my opinion as an erotica writer if I cared to- it didn't get me out of myself enough that I didn't stop considering the grammar etc. However that's a fault of me not finding it arousing because of my interests, not the author's.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Would you enjoy a little humiliation with your BDSM?

Today's post is even more "Not Safe For Work" than usual. :D

Recently I stepped into my Master's den and found Him on youjizz.com; He said He was trying to find porn that I'd enjoy. I don't think it's exactly a male/female thing, but He does watch far more visual porn than I do. I reminded Him of my interests: bears, leathermen, "things You'd find disgusting" (as I summarized my interest in activities such as enemas, golden showers, and BDSM humiliation scenes. I decided Wednesday night to do my own search on youjizz.com. I found just one page of enemas and there were very few scenes I actually wanted to watch. I was fascinated to find a number of "milk enema" scenes among the related videos. I ended up looking up milk enemas, to under the "why and the how" as one other questioner had phrased her/his/hir question. Fascinating to find out the warm milk and molasses is actually an "old school" nurses cure for extreme constipation. I did enjoy an enema/anal fisting scene however. I found much more luck when I put "humiliated" into their search engine; I did laugh to find it one of those words that pre-filled after I put just a few letters into the box. I'm not sure the name was right on the video- Master and I had quite Thursday afternoon that I'll talk about in a moment- but I found this 27 minute video that immediately had me. I loved how average the Dom looked, loved the set up to the scene. Wow! I couldn't manage to watch the whole video, it turned me on so and Master was at work. Now that was gorgeous humiliation scene-ing! When he leaned forward enough to pinch her nose closed while he was fucking her face. I particularly enjoyed how the scene started with the woman in practical full body bondage done with plastic wrap. In my talk with my Master, He gave me the names Annette Schwartz and Sasha Grey. Annette- I believe she was the woman in the video I so enjoyed Wednesday night. Sasha Grey- her name is already familiar to me. I've never been really good at associating different porn stars with their body of work. After finishing some other author type work, I'll be doing some porn watching, looking specifically for those two women. I really loved the stories my Master told about Sasha Grey's entry into the visual porn world- things such as she shocked the people on the set of a porn movie she was in early in her career because she actually made demands for specific acts from the male porn stars she was acting alongside.

Of course, the above is mostly about pornography and visual at that. I'll have to ask my Master more, but I'm wondering if you can find any movies/videos that center around relationship-based sexual encounters, especially BDSM-relationships. This leads me back to thinking about Vala's Story. Last Friday, I shared a humiliation scene from later in the Vala's Story series.

I want to ask you to focus on one specific part of that scene now:
(excerpt from the tentatively titled "So Many Changes: Book Eight" of the Vala's Story series):

The Queen slowly, teasingly moved the washcloth across Vala's clit. He passed the cloth back to Simon. Holding her lips apart, he pressed the edge of the catheter against her just below her clit. "You have to relax and submit your body to me now, girl. No part of you is off-limits to me."

In my mind, this overlaps with my post from Thursday, about how love looks to me. While someone not into BDSM, probably even someone not into humiliation scenes, won't get it, to me, what The Queen says to Vala there is amazingly romantic. To imagine him taking total ownership over her body? Yummy! This however is one of those things I just write about because my Master totally isn't into this type of BDSM activity.

Either in one or two Fridays, I'm going to share the links to 3 articles plus a free short story and give you my thoughts on them. Please make sure to come back :). Every day is a new thing about BDSM on my blog.